I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
