i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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