I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so let's talk penis.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
