Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The power of my boobs compel you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
