he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize