Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
