i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
