That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
