Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
