lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize