Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
