Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
