What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
