Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
