I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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