ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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