Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
