I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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