Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
