i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
