Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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