I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize