I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
