2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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