i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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