I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
