eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize