Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
As shirtless as possible
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
