the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
