I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
