There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize