I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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