toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
