Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
