yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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