The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
