Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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