Walk of Shame. In a state park.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
