yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
