So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize