No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
