Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
