you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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