we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
