He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
