Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
