i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
