i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I smell stomach acid.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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