I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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