She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
