i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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