After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize