Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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