Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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