Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
