I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
