Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
