google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
