"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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