i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
