I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
if only i could text you this smell
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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