it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
