i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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