My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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