he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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